{"id":406,"date":"2022-02-23T21:52:05","date_gmt":"2022-02-23T21:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/?page_id=406"},"modified":"2022-03-01T17:48:13","modified_gmt":"2022-03-01T17:48:13","slug":"rosie-mcmahan-1","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/prose-poetry\/rosie-mcmahan-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Rosie McMahan"},"content":{"rendered":"

Murmurations<\/h3>\n
\u201cA dazzling cloud of birds\u2026wildly twisting in pulses of enlargement and diminution\u2026
\nthese aerial spectacles often arise purely out of defense\u201d<\/em>
 <\/div>\n

Near the end of our conversation,
\nshe whispers, \u201cI miss my home.\u201d
\n\u201cI know Ma, I would, too, if I were in your shoes.\u201d
\nShe then asks me to bring her the night lamp shaped like a tree,
\na plastic red cardinal perched on one limb.
\nAnd her winter boots. And some Sanka.
\n\u201cThe kind in those small packets.
\nI left them in my pocket-book,\u201d she says.
\n\u201cWhich one, Ma?\u201d I ask.
\nShe says, \u201cThe beige one.\u201d
\n\u201cThat narrows it down by 50 %,\u201d I say.
\nShe says, \u201cBeige with blue flowers.
\n\u201dOh, that one.\u201d I say.
\nI don\u2019t know which one she is talking about.
\nI search for it again and again.<\/p>\n

Mom stopped living with us six weeks ago.
\nShe went from the hospital to rehab to assisted living.
\nFriends ask me, \u201cHow is your mom doing? Is she all set?\u201d
\nI tell them the place is terrific.
\nA building, older than my mom.
\nWith staff who go out of their way to inquire
\nif she is too cold, too hot, bring her afternoon snacks
\nand bath her twice weekly, Wednesday and Sunday.
\nWith other little old ladies who smile warmly
\ntowards one another as they move from their bedrooms
\ntowards the dining room, some with walkers and canes,
\nsome without. Hefty portions of scrumptious food,
\nserved family style.<\/p>\n

But at the end of every conversation
\nI have with her, that pause
\nand then, \u201cWhen can I come home?\u201d<\/p>\n

I fly in the opposite direction of telling her
\nwhat I really think. Her words flutter through me
\nand my feelings twist and turn, changing direction
\nin a moment\u2019s notice. I want to say never, Mom.
\nNever is when you are coming home.
\nI want her to understand it is not my fault. Her fault.
\nIt is not anyone\u2019s fault.
\nBut instead, I say this –
\n\u201cYou are in the best place. The best place for all of us.\u201d
\nIt\u2019s true. I believe it, but that doesn\u2019t stop me
\nfrom feeling altered by her question.
\nEvery time she asks.<\/p>\n

 
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Murmurations \u201cA dazzling cloud of birds\u2026wildly twisting in pulses of enlargement and diminution\u2026 these aerial spectacles often arise purely out of defense\u201d  Near the end of our conversation, she whispers, \u201cI miss my home.\u201d \u201cI know Ma, I would, too, if I were in your shoes.\u201d She then asks me to bring her the night … Continue reading Rosie McMahan<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"parent":36,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-406","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/406","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=406"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/406\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1182,"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/406\/revisions\/1182"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/36"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forbeslibrary.org\/exhibit2022\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=406"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}